What's Missing?

The other night Tori and I sat outside our little downtown apartment gazing at the city lights while debriefing such a fun-filled week in California (It was my first time there by the way. And yes I'm a believer now). 

We started talking about how busy life has been. As your schedule starts to fill up, it gets easier and easier to just exist in society. School gets crazy with all the research papers required. Work can become hectic with all the deadlines required to be met. And the rest of your time goes to working on your marriage, attending small groups, and catching up with friends. (You try and throw a good night's rest in there every once in a while).

Before you know it, you're absolutely booked. I've been on the opposite end of the spectrum too by the way. I've had multiple seasons with way too much time on my hands. And I usually fill those with overdoses of Netflix. It starts out innocently until your three seasons into Sons of Anarchy and you feel life slipping into deep ice cream filled depression. Thats another story though I suppose.

Life is full now. And I mean to the very minute. As I was experiencing all of this, I thought where is Jesus in all of this? 

I'm not saying I've stopped praying, reading my bible, or going to church. I do all of that. But there is still something missing. 

As were sitting there, I realize something.

I miss Jesus.

I miss thinking about Him. I miss resting in the good thoughts He has for me and Tori. I miss the energy i get from slowing down and taking in his presence. 

It's so easy to forget too when life is fun and full. But the reality is that somewhere in your life, the absence of resting in his presence seeps out. For some, its that you start believing lies about yourself. For others, it can be physical fatigue. In the story of Mary and Martha, Martha's lack seeped into her frustration with Mary's rest.

 For me, I start to rationalize everything. I know that sounds weird  but its true. I start thinking like and blending in with culture in my thought life. I forget the beauty of what being a believer consists of. 

we get to believe for bigger things
we get to take leaps of faith
we have an anchor
we can have peace of mind
we have a reason to be positive in every situation

But all of that can be taken away, if we let it. The reality is that we need Him and it all it takes is to take a step back every once in a while to rest. 

-Aaron

Remembering Who I Am

I often look around for encouragement in who I want to be like as I continue to grow and develop. I look around and see all the greats going before me. Completely amazed by where they are and what they're like. 

There's something inside of my subconscious that tells me that in order to be as loved and honored by others as they are, I need to just recreate them. 

I caught myself in those thoughts today! 

That's completely wrong! 

There is only one of them and one of me. 

I'm not saying I don't appreciate who I am because I definitely do. I think there are so many special characteristics about myself that God put in me. 

I am saying that I naturally look up to others who I respect, which can be a very positive thing. But there are two things we can't forget when looking at others like ourselves: 

1. We are One of A Kind! 

We are so uniquely made and only you can be the best version of yourself. Look to other for encouragement as you see them blossom, but look to Jesus to tell you who you are. The longer we wait to do that, the longer we prolong growth and LOVE FOR OURSELVES. 

2. Those people that we constantly look up to were a process. They weren't born with such a polished way about them. They went through awkward puberty, thinking too much of themselves, discouragement, and probably a lot of humbling.  

Thanks Jesus for being so real and active in my thought life today.

-Aaron

Position Over Competition

I have an inner dilemma that controls my thoughts pretty regularly. My heart has always been for the ministry and to be leading in some aspect. But right now I'm committed to getting school done and working a part-time job and being faithful with the friend group I've been blessed with. I'm the type of person that wants instant gratification so this season has been stretching for me. I'm excited about school and how well cultured its making me as I dig deeper into Sociology and History, but there is always a pull from my heart to just be giving ministry everything I have. 

I've been thinking a lot about the incredible leaders around me that get to do what I want to do. Its an amazing thing to see someone thrive in what they are called to. It can also be a struggle if you feel called to the same thing but aren't in the same season. There is a decision that has to be made. No doubt that it is a slugfest between my flesh and my confident God-given identity. The decision is to either envy or feel threatened by this equal or to support and help promote them in God's calling on their life. The world tells us that we have to compete and push others down to get what we want and to stay instead. I think the Lord calls us to something higher. 

I watched a message from one of my favorites, Judah Smith called "What Just Happened?" He talks about how our position is granted before our practice and not the other way around. I have to choose to be confident in who God made me to be, in the purpose he has called me to, and that He is the one that opens doors and closes Him. We can try and wiggle ourselves into opportunities, but at the end of the day God has the final say in where favor given. Besides, there is too much baggage that comes along with the world system. Things like: worry, stress, competition, and let down. His way brings promise, protection, faith, and lifting each other up. That's who I want to be and that's who I'm choosing to be. My position is final, therefore my practice can be humble and confident. 

-Aaron

Everything is Secondary

Going home for Christmas break I was really in desperate need of God speaking to me.

Just some background: I am in Birmingham, it has been challenging being away from my family and everything familiar to me.

Going home I was in bliss. I woke up hopped out of my bed to find my parents cooking breakfast and presents under the Christmas tree. It really was too good to be true. We had no school worries, job worries, all we had to do is enjoy our vacation with family. Side note: Fairhope really is the most quaint, homey place in the world. (If you disagree, you have every right to be wrong).

As always, God came through for us and lifted our sprits with powerful message.

The first thing he spoke to us was this: When coping with every day life we have the ability to strategize, learn about ourselves, make plans, make back up plans, read books about who we are as humans. All my life I have collected little things like this along the way the most recent ones being: grace, the importance of community, the power of vulnerability. I have always been the same way. I’ve always been a learner. I love learning new ideas, new things about myself, about God, and about how to relate to other people. I think I secretly was waiting for that one book or person that was going to teach me how to be completely self sufficient and how to be great at everything. Little did I know… All of these things are NECESSARY realizations. So necessary in fact that God teaches us about them. But what God spoke to me was that although these things are God breathed, necessary, and beautiful, they are SECONDARY. We will continue to learn them, and continue to collect these little tidbits about life. What I needed God to tell me though was that I struggle when I convince myself that any one of these things will sustain me, when ultimately only he can do that. God wanted me to understand that yes, these things are beautiful, and yes, he thinks it is sweet that we collect them. BUT he has granted us a trump card called Jesus Christ that beats even the most strategic strategy of living. And I feel like every person that reads this has had this thought before. And it just seems so impractical. But we’ve decided that it has to be real and it has to be practical. And we decided we want to spend the rest of our lives figuring out how we can make it more practical, because these little lessons we learn are all seasonally relevant. We needed to learn grace when we lacked in giving ourselves enough. We needed to learn the value of community when we realized how tough life can be when you’re trying to figure it out by yourself. And we needed to learn the power of vulnerability when we realized, it was the key to becoming a more wholehearted person. But Jesus and the easy yoke he provides, is timeless. And we want to know more about it.

Today we’re headed home from Fairhope and this is the beginning of us trying to set this into motion. For my own sanity I need Jesus to be my primary source. He is the cheat code. In a hard moment I have the choice to rack my brain for the best plan that I can come up with. Probably one of the biggest problems we have is trying to diagnose ourselves in figuring out why were feeling the way we do. - OR I can take the easy and much less commonly used approach, I can trust, worship, pray, or just say Jesus.

-Tori

-Aaron